Never Split the Difference

This is probably the book I recommend most often.

Tactical empathy, calibrated questions, and making someone feel understood before trying to change their position are not just negotiation techniques. They are practical leadership tools.

You can mandate a control and spend the next year fighting exceptions. Or you can understand why an engineering leader is resisting it, identify the constraint underneath the objection, and design something both teams can live with.

That distinction matters. Security leaders operate across organizations they rarely control directly, so influence is one of the most important skills in the job.